I never thought of myself as the kind of woman who would be able to “cheat” on her spouse, much less learn how to cuckhold her husband.   I was raised in a strict household where family life is of utmost value and that honoring your spouse is key in establishing a solid, happy marriage.  My mother, bless her soul, was the type of wife and mother who put her families needs before her own, and was consequently resentful of this.  When I was a teenager, I once asked her if she was happy in her marriage and with the choices she has made.  Her response to me was:

“Olivia, a woman’s happiness comes from making certain her family is well cared for.   All of her choices are made with her husband’s happiness as a priority”

I then asked her if she ever thought there were things that she might want to do but held back because they wouldn’t fit into that scheme of thinking.  She told me that as a wife, the husband’s word was always “final”.

That never did sit very well with me.

Probably because of her archaic way of thinking and existing in the world, I made it a point to be almost the opposite kind of female.   I felt it was my duty to rebel against this chauvenistic upbringing and drove my parents crazy for years, as they wondered when I would just settle down.   They could never understand why I wanted to pursue higher education and a career, since I would just eventually get married and stay at home taking care of my husband and family.

Yeah, right!

I dated casually before I met my husband, and there was only one semi-serious relationship prior to when we became involved.  In some ways, I think I put my sexual growth on hold because I wanted to establish myself in my chosen career path: medicine.   I wanted to be the best at what I felt most passionate about and worked tirelessly to get there.  Seth and I married when we were in our early 20’s, but I was so busy with finishing med school, clincial rotations and landing an ideal residency, that I never got around to thinking about what might be lacking in our sex life.

Don’t misunderstand, sex with Seth has generally been pretty good.  On the other hand, I really didn’t have much to compare it to.  I had only one lover before Seth, and while Seth was certainly more skilled, things between us were basically rather vanilla.  While I was focusing on my job full time, I never saw any reason to think there might be something more that I was craving deep down inside.

People have always told me I am an attractive woman.  For most of my 20’s and shortly thereafter, I never paid much attention to my appearance.  I have always presented as fit and healthy, but I never spent exorbitant amounts of energy or time on my hair, make up or clothing.  I used to think my girlfriends were crazy for spending hundreds of dollars to get their hair styled, colored, highlighted, etc.  A few years ago, I joked with one married friend of mine, Melissa, who was in the salon weekly–touching up her tawny highlights, getting manicures, pedicures, massages, tanning…not to mention the crazy bills she charged up at Victoria’s Secret.  I said something to Melissa, like, “Hey, don’t you think Jeff (her spouse) is already smitten enough with you?” 

Melissa then confided to me that her vain efforts had nothing to do with her husband Jeff.  She was investing in her appearance for her lover. 

She had been “dating” another man for over a year and explained that her marriage had only benefitted from her extramarital activities. 

“So, Jeff knows about your boyfriend?” I asked her.

Melissa smirked at me and replied, “Knows?  Honey, Jeff was the one who picked him out for me!”

And this was the way my education in the art of cuckoldry had begun.